The Flower of Sperm Directed Onto Everything Ever
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- | <font size="+1"><pre> | + | #REDIRECT [[Ancient_Artifacts#The_Flower_of_Sperm_Directed_Onto_Everything_Ever]] |
- | > look | + | |
- | + | ||
- | Main Street [n, s, e, w, street] | + | |
- | + | ||
- | This is Main Street, on the east side of Losthaven. To the north | + | |
- | is a stable, and southward is a tannery. There is an open iron gate | + | |
- | to the east. The area is reasonably well-lit. | + | |
- | + | ||
- | You see a crystal flower. | + | |
- | + | ||
- | Above you is a rolling, cloudy night sky. The air is warm. You have | + | |
- | to brace yourself against the strong wind. The moon is not visible. | + | |
- | + | ||
- | Obvious exits are north, south, east and west. | + | |
- | > examine flower | + | |
- | + | ||
- | This is a flower made of crystal. The quality of its craftsmanship | + | |
- | is exquisite. It looks less than a twentieth of a dimin across and | + | |
- | about two dimins tall. | + | |
- | + | ||
- | > get flower | + | |
- | + | ||
- | You take the crystal flower with your right hand. | + | |
- | > look at flower through lens | + | |
- | + | ||
- | You examine your crystal flower through your clear glass lens: | + | |
- | + | ||
- | This is a flower made of crystal. The quality of its craftsmanship | + | |
- | is exquisite. It looks less than a twentieth of a dimin across and | + | |
- | about two dimins tall. It weighs very little. | + | |
- | + | ||
- | You feel knowledge of the Flower of Sperm Directed Onto Everything | + | |
- | Ever drift into your mind like a long-forgotten memory. | + | |
- | + | ||
- | Your clear glass lens shatters into a fine dust. | + | |
- | > inventory | + | |
- | + | ||
- | You are carrying the Flower of Sperm Directed Onto Everything Ever | + | |
- | and an open leather bag (total weight seven dekans). | + | |
- | > examine flower | + | |
- | + | ||
- | This is a flower made of diamond. The quality of its craftsmanship | + | |
- | is exquisite. You recognize it as the Flower of Sperm Directed Onto | + | |
- | Everything Ever, a work of art constructed by that famously goddess- | + | |
- | besotted follower of Eris, Ultamon Zilch. It allegorically refers to | + | |
- | the Panspermia, a Discordian origin story in which Eris creates all the | + | |
- | peoples of the world by throwing great globs of sperm from the heavens | + | |
- | (in the version of this story told to children, where Eris got the sperm | + | |
- | is not mentioned; few other versions are so merciful). This divinely | + | |
- | flung semen impregnates the ground, which gives birth to different races | + | |
- | according to the local conditions: plains bringing forth humans, forests | + | |
- | birthing elves, mountains engendering dwarves, and so on. This tale is | + | |
- | noted among raconteurs for being almost infinitely adaptable to the | + | |
- | purpose of crude ethnic slurs against whatever variety of folk the | + | |
- | teller may be irritated with, bearing a long tradition of increasingly | + | |
- | improbable disgusting circumstances made to account for the origin of | + | |
- | the more obnoxious and disliked species of the world. The Flower itself, | + | |
- | like some of Zilch's other creations, appears to have been enough liked | + | |
- | by Eris that she imbued it with powerful divine energies, in this case | + | |
- | energies of life. Reportedly, when the Flower is held, and *not* used | + | |
- | directly to bash anything's head in, it will steadily heal the bearer, | + | |
- | as well as intermittently blasting his enemies with fluxes of life energy | + | |
- | literally too powerful for ordinary living beings to endure. | + | |
- | It looks less than a twentieth of a dimin across and about two | + | |
- | dimins tall. It weighs very little. | + | |
- | </pre></font> | + | |
- | + | ||
- | <font size="-1"> | + | |
- | [http://www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=1531 for the confused] | + | |
- | </font> | + |