Funny System-Generated Content

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Lost Souls features a number of mechanisms that auto-create or auto-name content. This page is a collection of funny things that it's generated.

Contents

Yeoman Cyber Priest

This is a male human with tan skin, brown hair, and blue eyes. He looks healthy and able, and is dressed in the livery of the Camelot yeomanry. He maintains a steady, respectful distance from Sir Proffet. His body has a natural grace and power to it that makes him appears tranquil and free. He has a few thin wisps of surging radiance and a tracery of sparkling light within and around him. His left hand is marked by a scar. He is resting. He looks about seventeen dimins tall, five and a quarter dimins wide, and one and three tenths dimins front to back. He is in good shape and is missing his right hand. He wears a violet-adamantite-segmented strata halfsuit on his body.

 +------------------------------- Basic Stats ---------------------------------+
 |                             Yeoman Cyber Priest                             |
 +----------------------+---------------------------+--------------------------+
 | level:  11           | race:   human             | sex:    male             |
 | align:    -24/74     | lives:  0                 | kills:  0                |
 | hunger: 0            | thirst: -250              | diet:   omnivore         |
 +----------------------------------+---------------+--------------------------+
 | experience: 8725 / 11285         | hit points:     607.5 / 632.8            |
 | wealth:     22766 / 25000        | spell points:   337.0 / 337.0            |
 | limbs:      10                   | endurance:      732.0 / 732.0            |
 | attribs:    0                    | burden:         4.9 / 130.7 (32.5)       |
 +------------------------+---------+---------------+--------------------------+
 | attribute     original  permadj  develop   next  natural   modify    total  |
 | strength            63        0        5   0.99       68        0       68  |
 | intelligence        54        0        5   0.99       59        0       59  |
 | constitution        61        0        7   0.99       68        1       69  |
 | dexterity           56        0       11   0.98       67        1       68  |
 | willpower           66        0       10   0.98       76        2       78  |
 | charisma            58        0        7   0.99       65        3       68  |
 | perception          64        0        5   0.99       69        0       69  |
 | size                61        0        0              61        0       61  |
 +------------------------+-------------------------+--------------------------+

Modem the pickpocket

This is a male human with tan skin, gray hair, and blue eyes. He is unkempt and grimy, and has a shifty look. Modem does not look like one of Losthaven's higher-class citizens. He has a few thin wisps of surging radiance and a tracery of sparkling light within and around him. He is resting. He looks about seventeen and a half dimins tall, five and nine twentieths dimins wide, and one and seven twentieths dimins front to back. He is somewhat hurt. He wields an iron dagger in his right hand.

 +------------------------------- Basic Stats ---------------------------------+
 |                            Modem the pickpocket                             |
 +----------------------+---------------------------+--------------------------+
 | level:  5            | race:   human             | sex:    male             |
 | align:      0/0      | lives:  0                 | kills:  0                |
 | hunger: 0            | thirst: 0                 | diet:   omnivore         |
 +----------------------------------+---------------+--------------------------+
 | experience: 438 / 713            | hit points:     694.4 / 694.4            |
 | wealth:     0 / 25000            | spell points:   262.0 / 262.0            |
 | limbs:      10                   | endurance:      428.0 / 428.0            |
 | attribs:    0                    | burden:         1.2 / 173.7 (1.2)        |
 +------------------------+---------+---------------+--------------------------+
 | attribute     original  permadj  develop   next  natural   modify    total  |
 | strength            59        0        2   1.00       61        0       61  |
 | intelligence        58        0        2   1.00       60        0       60  |
 | constitution        66        0        4   0.99       70        0       70  |
 | dexterity           58        0        3   0.99       61        0       61  |
 | willpower           71        0        3   0.99       74        0       74  |
 | charisma            60        0        3   0.99       63        0       63  |
 | perception          67        0        3   0.99       70        0       70  |
 | size                64        0        0              64        0       64  |
 +------------------------+-------------------------+--------------------------+

Fraklord the sailor

This is a male orc with black skin, black hair, and black eyes. His weatherbeaten face is crowned by a pair of busy eyebrows, with suspicious eyes peering out from under them. He looks about seventeen dimins tall, five and three quarters dimins wide, and one and nine twentieths dimins front to back. He is in good shape.

Moron the guard

This is the west end of Gold Street, a dirty alley in a poorer section of Losthaven. It intersects with Copper Street to the west. The area is reasonably well-lit. You see a couple of fresh human corpses, Moron the guard, Bad Idea, and a nymph. Above you is a steadily moving, cloudy night sky. The air is cold. There is a brisk wind. The moon is not visible. Obvious exits are east and west.

Horni the Beggar

The city of Losthaven looms to the west beyond a huge worked iron gate.  A guardpost is south

of here. There is a closed rusty iron sewer grate here. There is an open iron gate to the west. The area is reasonably well-lit. You see Horni the beggar. Above you is a slowly moving, lightly clouded night sky. The air is warm. A breeze blows around you. A waning crescent moon hangs in the sky. Obvious exits are south, east, west, and down.


Ibang the ruffian

The flat plains are dotted with small patches of coarse grass that grows in clumps, leaving a large portion of the rocky soil exposed. A paved road has been constructed here to ease travel between important areas. It bears signs of considerable use, with shallow paths worn to either side from the many feet that have tread upon it. Small tufts of grass have begun to grow over the road. Eastward stands a city flying the blue and white banner of Losthaven. Northward, southward, eastward, and westward is a flat plains area. Above is empty air. The area is brightly lit. You see Ibang the ruffian. The paved road continues eastward and westward. A wide river can be seen to the northeast and southeast. Above you is a rolling, cloudy sky. The air is warm. You have to brace yourself against the strong wind. Obvious exits lead in all compass directions and their upward variations, as well as up.

Porno Spinner the bank guard

Delete this if not random I guess, but damnit I just noticed it...

This is the Bank of Losthaven. Pillars of white-veined blue stone support the vaulted ceiling, which is decorated in a gold filigree that depicts currencies from around the realm. A plush blue wool carpet bearing the insignia of the City of Losthaven covers most of the floor, giving the room a sense of warmth and comfort, as well as a bit of luxuriance. A low dark brown wooden counter with dark grey iron bars stands in the middle of the room. A bronze brazier hangs from the center of the ceiling, burning with a robust flame and supplying the room with plenty of light. There is a closed steel vault door to the north. The area is reasonably well-lit. You see Snoog the bank guard, Vuln Kaugu-gog the bank guard, Porno Spinner the bank guard, and Gredius. A small dark gray stone sign hangs on the wall. Outside, above you is a racing, lightly clouded sky. Obvious exits are north and west.

Satan Priest the guard

This is the developer 'stat' command screen for the trusty guard the folk of Losthaven rely upon to protect them. Could it be... Satan? Almost enough hit points

 +------------------------------- Basic Stats ---------------------------------+
 |                           Satan Priest the guard                            |
 +----------------------+---------------------------+--------------------------+
 | level:  12           | race:   kielleth          | sex:    male             |
 | align:    285/258    | lives:  0                 | kills:  0                |
 | hunger: 0            | thirst: 0                 | diet:   omnivore         |
 +----------------------------------+---------------+--------------------------+
 | experience: 11285 / 16927        | hit points:     665.0 / 665.0            |
 | wealth:     151 / 25000          | spell points:   374.0 / 374.0            |
 | limbs:      10                   | endurance:      918.0 / 918.0            |
 | attribs:    0                    | burden:        11.1 / 132.7 (11.1)       |
 +------------------------+---------+---------------+--------------------------+
 | attribute     original  permadj  develop   next  natural   modify    total  |
 | strength            55        0        6   0.99       61        0       61  |
 | intelligence        72        0        8   0.98       80        0       80  |
 | constitution        67        0        6   0.99       73        0       73  |
 | dexterity          102        0        8   0.97      110        0      110  |
 | willpower           79        0        9   0.98       88        0       88  |
 | charisma            79        0       10   0.98       89        0       89  |
 | perception          92        0        8   0.98      100        0      100  |
 | size                57        0        0              57        0       57  |
 +------------------------+-------------------------+--------------------------+

Godjizz the guard

Though no known stat display is available for him, there was once a goblin Losthaven guardsman named Godjizz. For years he reigned supreme as the most amazing procedurally-named individual in Lost Souls history, with a serious challenge arriving only with Satan Priest.

Anus the slave

+------------------------------- Basic Stats ---------------------------------+
|                               Anus the slave                                |
+----------------------+---------------------------+--------------------------+
| level:  23           | race:   human             | sex:    male             |
| align:      0/0      | lives:  0                 | kills:  0                |
| hunger: 0            | thirst: 0                 | diet:   omnivore         |
+----------------------------------+---------------+--------------------------+
| experience: 320000 / 360000      | hit points:     751.1 / 751.1            |
| wealth:     0 / 25000            | spell points:   322.0 / 322.0            |
| limbs:      10                   | endurance:     1236.0 / 1236.0           |
| attribs:    0                    | burden:         1.3 / 109.1 (1.5)        |
+------------------------+---------+---------------+--------------------------+
| attribute     original  permadj  develop   next  natural   modify    total  |
| strength            62        0       15   0.97       77        0       77  |
| intelligence        59        0       14   0.97       73        0       73  |
| constitution        65        0       16   0.97       81        0       81  |
| dexterity           55        0       13   0.97       68        0       68  |
| willpower           63        0       18   0.96       81        0       81  |
| charisma            67        0       17   0.97       84        0       84  |
| perception          66        0       17   0.97       83        0       83  |
| size                59        0        0              59        0       59  |
+------------------------+-------------------------+--------------------------+
    This is a male human with yellowish skin, black hair, and hazel eyes.  He is a dominated slave, conditioned by the skillful
application of pain and pleasure to obey the priestesses of Tolmet without question.  He has a tracery of sparkling light within
and around him.  
    He looks about sixteen and a half dimins tall, five and three twentieths dimins wide, and one and three tenths dimins front to
back.  
    He is in good shape.  
    He wears a red leather harness across his chest.

Cursedis The Hospitaler

+------------------------------- Basic Stats ---------------------------------+
|                          Cursedis the Hospitaller                           |
+----------------------+---------------------------+--------------------------+
| level:  10           | race:   human             | sex:    male             |
| align:    851/701    | lives:  0                 | kills:  0                |
| hunger: 0            | thirst: 0                 | diet:   omnivore         |
+----------------------------------+---------------+--------------------------+
| experience: 5015 / 7523          | hit points:     569.1 / 569.1            |
| wealth:     0 / 25000            | spell points:   500.0 / 500.0            |
| limbs:      10                   | endurance:      446.0 / 446.0            |
| attribs:    16                   | burden:         9.4 / 106.2 (11.7)       |
+------------------------+---------+---------------+--------------------------+
| attribute     original  permadj  develop   next  natural   modify    total  |
| strength            65        0        6   0.99       71        0       71  |
| intelligence       102        0        1   0.99      103        0      103  |
| constitution        60        0        6   0.99       66        0       66  |
| dexterity           58        0        6   0.99       64        0       64  |
| willpower           90        0        1   1.00       91        0       91  |
| charisma            97        0        1   0.99       98        0       98  |
| perception          65        0        8   0.98       73        0       73  |
| size                60        0        0              60        0       60  |
+------------------------+-------------------------+--------------------------+

This is a male human with golden skin, golden hair, and golden eyes. He looks about sixteen and a half dimins tall, five and a fifth dimins wide, and one and three tenths dimins front to back. He is in good shape. He wields a steel rod in his right hand. He wears a red-striped-white-cotton-trimmed cotton robe around his body, a pair of leather sandals on his feet, a white wool cap on his head, a cotton sash around his waist, a silver rosary around his neck, and a pair of cotton gloves on his hands.

is limbs are named head, chest, right arm, left arm, right hand, left hand, right leg, left leg, right foot, and left foot. Cursedis (~Losthaven/mon/hospitaller#448804) was created by Almior, Bectile, Crylos, Gara, Chaos, and Bannor; the source code was last updated Fri May 16 15:07:23 2014. The human race (/def/race/h/human) was created by Lost Souls; the source code was last updated Fri Oct 18 15:48:27 2013.

Nigga the fighter

Nigga the fighter is here.
   This is a female ogre with brown skin, black hair, and brown eyes.  She is incredibly muscular, and her
stature suggests that she has considerable combat experience.  She has a misshapen scar on her neck in the
shape of thick mug being slashed by a huge sword.  Her discolored fangs press firmly against her upper lip.
The brand on her neck represents her status as a fierce fighter of Og Village.  She has a tracery of sparkling
light and a webwork of surging radiance within and around her.  Her left arm, left leg, and left foot are each
crisscrossed with scars.  Her chest is marked by several scars.  Her right arm is disfigured by horrible scarring.  
   She looks about twenty-seven and a half dimins tall, ten dimins wide, and two and eleven twentieths dimins front to back.  
   She is in good shape.  
   She wields a giant iron sword in her hands.  She wears an enormous dark gray coyote fur hide gauntlet on her 
left hand and an enormous red fox fur hide gauntlet on her right hand.

Hobo the orc acolyte

+------------------------------- Basic Stats ---------------------------------+
|                                    Hobo                                     |
+----------------------+---------------------------+--------------------------+
| level:  4            | race:   orc               | sex:    male             |
| align:    600/500    | lives:  0                 | kills:  0                |
| hunger: 0            | thirst: 0                 | diet:   omnivore         |
+----------------------------------+---------------+--------------------------+
| experience: 269 / 438            | hit points:     689.5 / 689.5            |
| wealth:     0 / 25000            | spell points:   126.0 / 126.0            |
| limbs:      10                   | endurance:      514.0 / 514.0            |
| attribs:    0                    | burden:         9.9 / 143.4 (9.9)        |
+------------------------+---------+---------------+--------------------------+
| attribute     original  permadj  develop   next  natural   modify    total  |
| strength            93        0        4   0.99       97        0       97  |
| intelligence        51        0        2   1.00       53        0       53  |
| constitution       109        0        3   0.99      112        0      112  |
| dexterity           46        0        1   1.00       47        0       47  |
| willpower           32        0        1   1.00       33        0       33  |
| charisma            51        0        1   1.00       52        0       52  |
| perception          68        0        3   0.99       71        0       71  |
| size                64        0        0              64        0       64  |
+------------------------+-------------------------+--------------------------+

Kolond the Albino Thondur Thug

Kolond is here.


   This is a female thond with white skin, white hair, and pink eyes.  This tough-looking individual seems to live strictly to cause trouble.  There's a malicious glint in her eyes, and her icy sneer could never be mistaken for anything remotely resembling friendly.  She bears a blue tattoo of crossed swords on her right cheek as a symbol of her devotion to the robber baroness Nyseem.  She has a webwork of sparkling light within and around her.  
   She looks about twelve and a half dimins tall, seven and a quarter dimins wide, and one and four fifths dimins front to back.  
   She is in good shape.  
   She has a brass knuckle-duster mounted on her left hand and a brass knuckle-duster mounted on her right hand.


Best wand ever

This is a red iron wand decorated with runes and sigils all along its
length.  It is in perfect condition.  It looks about a tenth of a dimin across
and two and eleven twentieths dimins long.  It weighs very little.  You
appraise it at twenty gold.
You feel knowledge of wands of void-lightning drift into your mind like a
long-forgotten memory.
After a moment, you also find yourself somehow knowing that the red iron
wand of void-lightning can be activated by singing or shouting the word
"beyotch" in Zadjalin.


Obama Vokrando-bok

   This is a female orc with greenish skin, yellow hair, and black eyes.  This citizen is one of Halfmoon Bay's many residents.
 Despite the ever-present threat of gang violence, this individual hurries about her business unperturbed.  She has a few thin
wisps of surging radiance and a tracery of sparkling light within and around her. 
   She looks about eighteen dimins tall, six and a twentieth dimins wide, and one and a half dimins front to back.

Laithtarde the Adeptus Umbrae

Laithde is one of the most well known legendary heroes on the MUD, so it was pretty funny to see this.

This is a male dana with white skin, black hair, and hazel eyes.  He is a reticent, withdrawing figure.  Too-close
examination reveals half-visible disturbances flickering and flitting about him.  You recognize him as an Adeptus Umbrae, one
of the Novus Ordo Umbrae that studies under Kalyxes, learning the secrets of his shadow magicks.  He is permeated by a haze of
shadow.  He has a few thin wisps of auroric radiance, a few thin wisps of surging radiance, and a webwork of sparkling light
within and around him.  He looks about seventeen and a half dimins tall, four and a tenth dimins wide, and one dimin front to
back.  He is in good shape.
He wields a gray-enamelled steel dagger in his right hand and a rusty steel wand of magma in his left hand.  He wears a
small gray linen robe around his body, a small pair of gray leather boots on his feet, and a small black-lacquered ashwood
amulet of entropy retribution around his neck.
+------------------------------- Basic Stats ---------------------------------+
|                        Laithtarde the Adeptus Umbrae                        |
+----------------------+---------------------------+--------------------------+
| level:  27           | race:   dana              | sex:    male             |
| align:     30/7      | lives:  0                 | kills:  0                |
| hunger: 0            | thirst: 0                 | diet:   omnivore         |
+----------------------------------+---------------+--------------------------+
| experience: 510000 / 580000      | hit points:     280.0 / 280.0            |
| wealth:     237 / 25000          | spell points:   831.0 / 831.0            |
| limbs:      10                   | endurance:      352.0 / 352.0            |
| attribs:    0                    | burden:         4.7 / 69.8  (5.7)        |
+------------------------+---------+---------------+--------------------------+
| attribute     original  permadj  develop   next  natural   modify    total  |
| strength            54        0       13   0.97       67        0       67  |
| intellect          104        0       25   0.93      128        0      128  |
| vitality            23        0        5   0.99       28        0       28  |
| agility             88        0       21   0.95      109        0      109  |
| willpower           99        0       22   0.94      120        0      120  |
| ego                 91        0       22   0.95      112        0      112  |
| perception          93        0       22   0.94      114        0      114  |
| size                48        0        0              48        0       48  |
+------------------------+-------------------------+--------------------------+


Girldikk ti Boglicka

 This is a skaven with white fur and beady pink eyes.  This citizen is one of Halfmoon Bay's many residents.
  Despite the ever-present threat of gang violence, this individual hurries about its business unperturbed. 
  He looks about nine and nineteen twentieths dimins tall, three and a twentieth dimins wide, and three quarters of a dimin front to back.


Bouhner the Male Prostitute

   on the docks [n, s, street]
   There is only one dock jutting out from the stone pier at this point.  This dock has a huge signal fire being tended at its end at all times.  The fire is used to signal the town of Halfmoon Bay and provide navigation for all vessels moving towards the docks.  The stone pier and docks in this section of Halfmoon bay are caked in a white substance that was left behind by the seagulls that hang around the docks.  A few small docks move out towards the ocean from this point for smaller private crafts to use.  The area is reasonably well-lit.  
   Bouhner is here.  
   Above you is a still, lightly clouded sky.  The air is warm.  
   Obvious exits are north and south.

> l Bouhner

   This is a male human with yellowish skin, gray hair, and brown eyes.  As in any port town, an active shipping trade gives rise to other trades, such as prostitution, and this human aims to get his fair share of that trade.  He has a few thin wisps of surging radiance and a tracery of sparkling light within and around him.  
   He looks about fifteen and a half dimins tall, four and four fifths dimins wide, and one and a fifth dimins front to back.  
   He is in good shape.  
   He is resting.  
   He wears a vert-jasper-set silvery pewter ring of flight on his right hand.  He has a brass knuckle-duster mounted on his left hand and a brass knuckle-duster mounted on his right hand.

Woman Hunter the guard

   This is a male human with brown skin, gray hair, and hazel eyes.  He is dressed in the crisp gray livery of the Shadow Lord Kalyxes.  His manner is curt and professional.  He has a tracery of sparkling light within and around him.  
   He looks about sixteen and a half dimins tall, five and three twentieths dimins wide, and one and three tenths dimins front to back.  
   He is in good shape.  
   He wields a gray-enamelled steel longsword in his right hand.  He wears a pair of gray leather leggings on his legs, a gray cuir bouilli cuirass on his chest, a pair of gray leather bracers on his arms, a pair of gray leather boots on his feet, a gray leather cap on his head, and a pair of gray leather gloves on his hands.
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