First Discordian Play
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The script below is the first fully procedurally-generated dramatic script in the history of the universe made entirely using random words and rhyme-scheme-based selections from the Discordian Quotes File, plus names courtesy of the Lost Souls name generation code and drama role title support.
Watch Susceptible, Drink: Pineal 000 Alligators Wives by Keunga Tryutor-bok ACT I SCENE I Enter NOLNETHO, SQUIRE GALANELI, HARLDOGORD, and FRIRGOGRATA FRIRGOGRATA Filbert. Hosiery. Tiffin. Longitudinal. Crust. Marginal. Convalescence. Suture. Enter GUGRAMIE GUGRAMIE Leaving sex to the feminists is like letting your dog vacation at the taxidermist. SQUIRE GALANELI [To GUGRAMIE] Mistakes are often the stepping stones to utter failure. Enter Zaaszibvorkrum Zaaszibvorkrum [To GUGRAMIE] Now how the fuck does a quote like THAT get in the list? There is no "I" in "team", but then again there isn't a "Z" in "xenophobia", so go figure. GUGRAMIE This is what it is to be human: to persist. Zaaszibvorkrum Who would shit on a flag made of shit? It would be an empty gesture! NOLNETHO You have your way. I have my way. As for the right way, the correct way, and the only way, it does not exist. SQUIRE GALANELI Garfield, let's think nice thoughts today. I'm floating on a cloud. I'm barbecuing a small woodland creature. HARLDOGORD It is better to be a pleasantly surprised pessimist than a bitterly disappointed optimist. We could do that, but it would be wrong, that's for sure. SQUIRE GALANELI [To FRIGOGRATA] Of course it belongs to me, I'm a communist. [To NOLNETHO] How do you make a cat go moo? Ask it "Does a dog have the Buddha-nature?" Yo-Yo Ma? You work for the cellist? NOLNETHO We were all feeling a bit shagged and fagged and fashed, it being a night of no small expenditure. Zaaszibvorkrum I've got an overload of bottomless thought right here in my left fist. Exeunt